17 May an old woman in the mirror…

Who is that older woman in the mirror? A question which occurs with a lot more frequency than previously. There seems to be a disconnect between my ageless feeling inside and the face staring back at me! I know that I am not alone. So many women feel this disconnection when faced with the reality of our biological ageing. Yet I question why? Have we not lived? Have we not experienced life uniquely? Is not our outer shell, the beautiful canvas, the evidence of our wisdom- gained through tears, fears, incredible highs, euphoric moments and the sweetness of connection? Why then do we shudder?

Consider the beauty of a cast-iron fence. The ravages of time reveal its beauty. Whose hands have run along the fence’s pattern, who are children running with stick delighting in its sounds. What words have been exchanged? Consider the classic car, a crumbling castle, a stately home, or a giant tree- that has towered over a forest for hundreds of years! Then I ask – why not an ageing woman? Why is she not consider beautiful, why is she dismissed?

I am calling bullshit upon the movement to embrace anti-aging unthinkingly! To adhere to a socially constructed norm which devalues our humanity, and the choices we make. Why should we hide and be mandated to mask the evidence of our experiences? Why should we fight for the unachievable and feel we failed when the grey hair and the wrinkles prevail. Why should we have to explain to anyone why we choose plastic surgery, or why we don’t. Why we colour OR don’t colour our hair. We do not have to defend, explain or justify. We do not need to buy into the oppressive stereotyping that we are ugly as we age. That we are the crone.

To be marginalized by a youth obsessed society. To dare …gasp, to grow old!

 The camel ride in the Sahara leaves its mark. The rock-climbing, ziplining, and bungy jumping all leave their marks; camping, crying, loss, grief, childbirth, sleepless nights, care, and love-making. We are all marked by what life brings and our choices. Let’s not turn our backs on what makes our lives our own!

I dare you! Stare into the mirror, smile at the face staring back, look into her eyes! Whether she is 40, 50, 60, 70, or 80 – pick your number that is your age, that is your reality and I boldly state it – your blessing! And you know what! When you look into her eyes – you will see, and you know that she survived. Robust, wiser, compassionate, filled with the agelessness of life-affirming energy! 

Ready, see her? Feel her energy? Let’s go. Let’s live as we choose. Do it with tight jeans and short skirts – yup, if that works. Run, climb, hike, return to school, write a book, travel the world, raise chickens, there are endless possibilities. Do what is right for you.

If anyone dares to ask you-  ‘aren’t you too old to do that ?” Just smile; they don’t know, just because time passes by – there isn’t too old, there is only right now, and we are ageless, and we are beautiful. We are here