15 Jul seeing

How often do we look at ourselves – perhaps for some not often or only once after a shower, or in the morning and for others multiple times, to survey and judge and possibly fix what is wrong. For so many of us, we look to check out an aspect or a part of ourselves, looking to critique and assess. Our gaze is tinged with judgement to find what is lacking. “Is my hair tidy, anything in my teeth? Do these jeans make my butt look fat? We look at ourselves as body parts.

Body parts which we look at, again and again, must be maintained as outer demonstrations of our value as women. Whether through advertising, stories, movies, or social media, the message for women is to be constantly vigilant of appearance; align ourselves to the current standard of beauty!

How often do we see ourselves? How often do we see the wholeness and wonder of our very selves? Not as aspects or objects, body parts to be judged and probably improved -but our whole being? Wholly and without judgement of who we are. The beauty of our humanness, the evidence of experience etched within our souls? While the outside appearance is what others see, it represents our inner world and our lived experience.

I am tired of feeling the disconnect – of waking and looking at myself, of judging of seeking improvement within the measure of society’s construction of what defines female value. By looking in shock and horror at the image of the ageing woman, I have become – surprised at the visible representation of my ageing – when I feel ageless inside. I want to see myself wholly.

What can we do? How do we see rather than look?I suggest we look into our eyes in a mirror – get up close and focus on our eyes- without critique, or focus inward through breath, perhaps throughout the day, take a brief moment to close our eyes and connect to ourselves. Breathe out judgement and pre-conceived notions and be in the world. Let’s find ourselves in the noise of our modern world; let’s be unapologetically true to our unique selves.We are not buying into society’s impossible and dehumanized body part measurement, which objectifies women.

We know at our cellular level that as we age, to see our wisdom and experiences for what they are- beyond measure and judgement.