living in colour

We can sabotage ourselves and cover up our shiny, glorious brilliance, diminishing ourselves so that we don’t appear to brag or boast, deflecting the light away from ourselves through self-doubt and a lack of self-esteem. What would it look like, and how would we feel if we stepped into the spotlight? Would we glow? A shiny beacon for others. Over the last couple of years, I have been learning about myself, a descent into myself to understand why I hold myself back, why, when success or opportunity knocks, I pop open the door and feel awkward welcoming it into my life?

I have learned I will always feel uncomfortable and nervous, but I need to jump in with both feet and embrace the discomfort and the nerves as signals of growth. I need to resist placing disclaimers on my success- you know, with those pesky little phrases that start with… There probably weren’t any other entries” { an ACTUAL statement I wrote when I discovered my book won an award]. Most importantly, though, I have learned that there is so much wonder and light out in the world that sharing it and giving it to ourselves and others increases its brightness and spread. I have learned that people need to see others succeeding and acknowledge it, and conversely, see failures and rising again to build self-belief and harness their dreams and hopes for their futures. I have learned we need to be like a crystal, spreading colours and our light outward, bathing others in the light and glowing from within.

Six months ago, I turned 60; leading up to my birthday last August, I shifted my perspective of what it means to be 60 by tackling 60 experiences before I turned 60 – I shifted into what is possible rather than what my aging self was losing. And the sting is gone; my age doesn’t hamper me. I am embarking on a new perspective shift, a new journey into the wonder and the light – as I set out to experience my aging in a relationship with the natural world and to start a new book – a fairy tale about a queen who loses her queendom… stay tuned!

So, fair warning, my friends, I am now living in colour…